Sacred Vows Minister: Will Thou, Jefferson, have this woman to be thy wedded wife? Will thou comfort and keep her, in sickness and in health? Will thou provide her with credit cards, and a four bedroom, and and a half bath home with central air and profession decorating? A Mercedes Benz, two weeks in the Bahamas every spring? Will thou try to remember the little things the mean so much like flowers on her anniversary, a kind word when she’s had a rough day, and an occasional “Gee honey, you look pretty today”? Will thou be understanding when she is tired, headachey, or upset about something? When she feels ugly, or has a big pimple on her chin? Will thou not be such a pig when you shave and shower? Will thou listen patiently to long stories about kids colds, kitchen towels, clothes, shoes, makeup, hair, sore feet, and decorated checkbook covers?
Jake: I will
me about my ships: OH MY GoD FEELINGS YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE SDKFLJSDLJ THEIR HANDS BRUSHED AND NOW THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER FOR SEVERAL LONG SECONDS OH GOD THIS IS SO ROMANTIC I CANNOT. SObbinG.
me irl: i hate romantic things i'd rather eat scissors.